💨New Skill Unlocked
You heard him, Alexa. FART.

🌎Which Country Has the Smallest 🍆Size
Feat. these cute lil guys

🥚Fake Egg Prank
Wake up babe, new villain origin story just dropped

👻Scare Prank Compilation
Maybe don't jumpscare someone old enough for a heart attack, tho

🤢Fart Spray Prank Compilation
Warning: (very well-deserved) Language

Spring Is in the Air!

The sun is shining, the pollen is asthma-ing, and here at Witty Yeti we're locked in a windowless, toilet-lined room field testing the Shart Survival Kit .

Meanwhile, keep an eye on our blog and socials for upcoming gift ideas.

Father's Day is coming faster than a bad boyfriend, so get to shopping before Dad has to pretend he doesn't have a favorite child.

For centuries, scholars have debated the existence of the Yeti—an elusive mountain cryptid said to roam remote peaks, possess mysterious supernatural abilities, and avoid human contact (sounds like the dream).

Sightings are rare. Evidence is inconclusive. Footprints appear briefly in the snow before vanishing into legend. But it has been watching us, possibly for centuries, lurking behind the snack aisle at Costco, ogling as we fight over samples and who gets in the mile-long line next.

So naturally, people wonder: Is the Yeti magical? Does it have superpowers? Does it wipe or use a bidet?

Burning questions, indeed.

Got something you think is hilarious?

Send it to newsletter@wittyyeti.com and we could feature it in a future round!

🥪Not All Heroes Wear Capes
A for effort, F(U) for that poor plate

💩New Elevator Nightmare Unlocked
Can we offer y'all a Shart Kit in these crying times

🤮Intestines Fidget Toy
By our competitor friends at Archie McPhee

✈️Don't Skydive on a Weird Stomach
Or do, and we'll vote for you in the Darwin awards

💀Don't Fear the (Foiled) Reaper
Follow the hilarious artist on IG here

A recent unofficial study conducted by Witty Yeti’s Department of Totally Legit Extremely Scientific Observations found that 78% of men believe they are “pretty solid” gift-givers, while 82% of women report having mastered the art of pretending to like something while silently questioning their life choices.

Look. We're not saying Friday the 13th and Valentine's Day being back-to-back this year is cosmically suspicious, but if your date tomorrow leans more unhinged than Hinge, you can't say the universe didn't warn you.

Jason Voorhees sends his regards, and also a reminder that in the absence of Cupid's arrows, machetes make a great conversation starter.

May the romantic odds -- and the odd romantics -- be ever in your favor.

❤️TLDR: Valentine’s Day gives us permission to be openly sentimental, wildly extra, and just a touch dramatic, all while pretending we’re not fully aware of how expensive thoughtful it is.

It Heckin' COLD.