What We're Laughing At

🎶I Work in a Warehouse
Warning: innuendo, mild profanity, and impeccable rhyme scheme

🪠It's Going Down
We're yelling plunger (plushie)

It's National Word Nerd Day. 

Here's our favorite gifts for that special someone who loves to talk.
 
Or for you, if you're the problem. #selfcare

INCIDENT REPORT: CHILD CHUCKER MISUSE

The Office of Operational Product Standards is investigating an incident reported last week in which a Child Chucker Model WY-69 was used to launch a 13-year-old to his education pod center. The child, unnamed to protect his dignity, weighed approximately 20kg beyond the manufacturer's recommended weight limit.

Wishing you less dumpster fire, more chaotic good in 2026.

An Ode to Last-Minute Shoppers

Stopping by Walmart on a Snowy Evening 

If you're like us, you have the motor skills of a three-year-old trying to insert a Capri Sun straw, so you dread wrapping presents every year.

As the experts in craptastic packaging, we've rounded up the highest-rated novelty wrapping paper that puts the err in merry. No affiliation, just our endorsement of the chaos.

Warning, some of these are also sliiiiiiightly NSFW. Shocker.

Besides the idiots who apparently have never seen snow before, here's what we're finding funny and freaky AF this week. 

Feat. Offensive Colored Pencils, Tiny Hands, and Pantone's Entire Lack of Color of the Year 2026 

As you sit back and pretend you care about football this fine Friday, here's what we're watching in the office while the boss is out.

This week's issue: Jumpscares, Duck Farts, and other Scary Stories for Halloween