{"title":"Shop All","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is it, baby! Literally everything.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"ship-your-friends-an-embarrassing-box-prank-vaginalodorhelper","title":"VaginalOdorHelper.com Prank Mailing Tube","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cb\u003eWe Mail Your Target a Hilariously Labeled Package to Make Them Cringe. Great Gag Gift \u0026amp; Practical Joke. Guaranteed to Mortify \u0026amp; Offend!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIMAGINE THEIR WINCING FACE when the mailman hands them this package or the mail guy at work walks this to their desk. It’ll be glorious! MUAHAHAHA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAPRIL FOOLS 24\/7. We believe the world needs more friendly mischief in it. Like Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So we send prank packages. And YOU CAN TOO!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTOTALLY ANONYMOUS OR LEAVE A NOTE. At checkout, leave a note under the \"Add a Gift Note\" section. We’ll print it and include it in the package so you can taunt your victim.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUPGRADE TO MAKE THEM SIGN FOR IT. They’ll have to sit there signing a slip while the mailman silently judges them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWE MAIL IT DIRECTLY TO THEM, so make sure you put in your target’s name and address, unless you really enjoy pranking your future self. No backsies if you send it to yourself!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose the Gift of Maximum Cringe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow often do you get to mess with people with just a few clicks. What a time to be alive!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eForget Lame Glitter Bombs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you actually seen those lame things? It's just an envelope with glitter inside. Weak as hell. It's time to up your prank game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e----------- INSTRUCTIONS -----------\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMake sure you select your target’s address\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you send it to yourself and complain to us, we will definitely laugh at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you want to leave them a note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eOn the \"Cart\" page, there is a box for \"Add a Gift Note.\" Type your message in there, and we will print out the note and include it inside the package.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you want them to have to sign for it in-person\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChoose the \"Make Them Sign For It In Person\" option above the Add to Cart button. We’ll upgrade the shipping so they’ll have to sign for it in person. It’ll be hilarious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e----------- FAQ -----------\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAre you guys serious right now?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs serious as a yeast infection. Doing God’s work, people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do you people sleep at night?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn a waterbed made of the tears of our prank targets.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI received one of these. My coworkers saw it. What the hell do I do now?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s only one thing to do: Get Revenge. Search our site to see all of our prank options. How about a prank bath bomb that starts out smelling lovely then smells like literal ass after a few minutes? Or an innocuous package that is actually a glitter cannon? We’ve got options for you, baby!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSatisfaction Guaranteed!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you aren’t completely satisfied with your prank, simply send us an email: Support@WittyYeti.com and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Pranking!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"No Signature Required","offer_id":34040509059,"sku":"VaginalOdorHelper-Regular Shipping","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Make Them Sign For It In-Person!","offer_id":34085469315,"sku":"VOH Signature Required- VaginalOdorHelper","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti Bomb They Have to Sign For!","offer_id":37949594051,"sku":"VOH Penis Confetti Upgrade","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/main_3d17a639-792a-4b44-9488-ab821acef653.jpg?v=1741884956"},{"product_id":"ship-your-friends-an-embarrassing-box-prank-micropeniscure","title":"MicroPenisCure.com Prank Mailing Tube","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cb\u003eWe Mail Your Target a Hilariously Labeled Package to Make Them Cringe. Great Gag Gift \u0026amp; Practical Joke. Guaranteed to Mortify \u0026amp; Offend!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIMAGINE THEIR WINCING FACE when the mailman hands them this package or the mail guy at work walks this to their desk. It’ll be glorious! MUAHAHAHA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAPRIL FOOLS 24\/7. We believe the world needs more friendly mischief in it. Like Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So we send prank packages from obscene websites. And YOU CAN TOO!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTOTALLY ANONYMOUS OR LEAVE A NOTE. At checkout, leave a note under the \"Add a Gift Note\" section. We’ll print it and include it in the package so you can taunt your victim.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUPGRADE TO MAKE THEM SIGN FOR IT. Choose the \"Make Them Sign For It In Person\" option above the Add to Cart button. We’ll upgrade the shipping so they’ll have to sign for it in person. It’ll be hilarious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWE MAIL IT DIRECTLY TO THEM, so make sure you put in your target’s name and address, unless you really enjoy pranking your future self. No backsies if you send it to yourself!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose the Gift of Maximum Cringe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow often do you get to mess with people with just a few clicks. What a time to be alive!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eForget Lame Glitter Bombs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you actually seen those lame things? It's just an envelope with glitter inside. Weak as hell. It's time to up your prank game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e----------- INSTRUCTIONS -----------\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMake sure you select your target’s address\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you send it to yourself and complain to us, we will definitely laugh at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you want to leave them a note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn the \"Cart\" page, there is a box for \"Add a Gift Note.\" Type your message in there, and we will print out the note and include it inside the package.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you want them to have to sign for it in-person\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChoose the \"Make Them Sign For It In Person\" option above the Add to Cart button. We’ll upgrade the shipping so they’ll have to sign for it in person. It’ll be hilarious.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e----------- FAQ -----------\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAre you guys serious right now?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs serious as a tiny penis. Doing God’s work, people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do you people sleep at night?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn a waterbed made of the tears of our prank targets.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI received one of these. My coworkers saw it. What the hell do I do now?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s only one thing to do: Get Revenge. Search our site to see all of our prank options. How about a prank bath bomb that starts out smelling lovely then smells like literal ass after a few minutes? Or an innocuous package that is actually a glitter cannon? We’ve got options for you, baby!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSatisfaction Guaranteed!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you aren’t completely satisfied with your prank, simply send us an email: Support@WittyYeti.com and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Pranking!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"No Signature Required","offer_id":34641813123,"sku":"MicroPenisCure - No Signature Required","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Make Them Sign For It In-Person","offer_id":34641813187,"sku":"MicroPenisCure - Signature Required","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Penis Confetti Bomb They Have to Sign For!","offer_id":37949557763,"sku":"MPC Penis Confetti Upgrade","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/main_1500_f9598ca8-8483-481a-82c2-8b4a1b5bff34.jpg?v=1741884917"},{"product_id":"bigassdildos-prank-tube","title":"BigAssDildos.com Prank Mailing Tube","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cb\u003eWe Mail Your Target a Hilariously Labeled Package to Make Them Cringe. Great Gag Gift \u0026amp; Practical Joke. Guaranteed to Mortify \u0026amp; Offend!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eIMAGINE THEIR WINCING FACE when the mailman hands them this package or the mail guy at work walks this to their desk. It’ll be glorious! MUAHAHAHA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eAPRIL FOOLS 24\/7. We believe the world needs more friendly mischief in it. Like Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So we send prank dildo packages. And YOU CAN TOO!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eTOTALLY ANONYMOUS OR LEAVE A NOTE. At checkout, leave a note under the \"Add a Gift Note\" section. We’ll print it and include it in the package so you can taunt your victim. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eUPGRADE TO MAKE THEM SIGN FOR IT. \u003cspan\u003eChoose the \"Make Them Sign For It In Person\" option above the Add to Cart button. We’ll upgrade the shipping so they’ll have to sign for it in person. It’ll be hilarious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWE MAIL IT DIRECTLY TO THEM, so make sure you put in your target’s name and address, unless you really enjoy pranking your future self. No backsies if you send it to yourself!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan mce-data-marked=\"1\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eOther website options: \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.wittyyeti.com\/collections\/mailing-pranks\/products\/ship-your-friends-an-embarrassing-box-prank-vaginalodorhelper\"\u003eVaginalOdorHelper.com\u003c\/a\u003e \u0026amp; \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.wittyyeti.com\/collections\/mailing-pranks\/products\/ship-your-friends-an-embarrassing-box-prank-micropeniscure\"\u003eMicroPenisCure.com\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose the Gift of Maximum Cringe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow often do you get to mess with people with just a few clicks. What a time to be alive!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eForget Lame Glitter Bombs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eHave you actually seen those lame things? It's just an envelope with glitter inside. Weak as hell. It's time to up your prank game.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e----------- INSTRUCTIONS -----------\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMake sure you select your target’s address\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you send it to yourself and complain to us, we will definitely laugh at you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you want to leave them a note\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn the \"Cart\" page, there is a box for \"Add a Gift Note.\" Type your message in there, and we will print out the note and include it inside the package.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you want them to have to sign for it in-person\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChoose the \"Make Them Sign For It In Person\" option above the Add to Cart button. We’ll upgrade the shipping so they’ll have to sign for it in person. It’ll be hilarious.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e----------- Frequently Asked Questions -----------\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAre you guys serious right now?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs serious as a big ass dildo. Doing God’s work, people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo you ship internationally?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe do indeed! It costs a little more and takes a little longer, but we're sure your target will love their gift from America!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs there anything inside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDespite our best efforts, the USPS has strict weight guidelines, so if we put an actual dildo or equivalent inside, the shipping price goes up by 2-3x. It's crazy. We promise we've had extremely good responses from the tube as-is. And by good responses, we mean several emails a week that just say, \"Fuck you.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do you people sleep at night? \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOn a waterbed made of the tears of our prank targets.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI received one of these. My coworkers saw it. What the hell do I do now?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s only one thing to do: Get Revenge. Search our site to see all of our prank options. How about a prank bath bomb that starts out smelling lovely then smells like literal ass after a few minutes? Or an innocuous package that is actually a glitter cannon? We’ve got options for you, baby!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSatisfaction Guaranteed!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf you aren’t completely satisfied with your prank, simply send us an email: Support@WittyYeti.com and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHappy Pranking!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"No Signature Required","offer_id":35960484739,"sku":"z-BigAssDildos","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Make Them Sign For It In-Person!","offer_id":35960484803,"sku":"Signature Required","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ship Them An Actual Dildo \u0026 Make Them Sign For It!","offer_id":36790587331,"sku":"JLS-0976","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Penis Confetti Bomb They Have to Sign For!","offer_id":37949709123,"sku":"Sign for Confetti","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/AjifwMo7.jpg?v=1741888196"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-s-i-heart-penis-prank-bumper-sticker-10-pack","title":"\"I Heart Penis\" Bumper Stickers","description":"\u003cp\u003eComing in at a solid 8” (20.3cm) long and a thick 2” (5cm) wide, these stickers are guaranteed to leave everyone who sees one satisfied and smiling. We’re packing a lot of mass in this 10 pack of stickers.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlthough the message is short and to the point, your laughter will be anything but. In our testing, we received reactions like:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- “HAHAHA. Very funny. Now how the hell do I get this off my car?”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- “Well I do in fact love penises, so thank you for the kind gift.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e- “Jimmy, for the love of God, stop putting these on your father’s work laptop.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEXPRESS REPRESSED FEELINGS. Let the fear fade away as you proudly proclaim to the world your love for the most venerable of organs.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePRANK YOUR FRIENDS. Stick the 2” x 8” bumper sticker on anything where your victim won’t expect it. 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Swift, Quiet Revenge Keep these cards in your car so when you locate an a**hole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to come crumbling down (or something like that). Either way, you'll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Excellent Novelty Gift or Stocking Stuffer (for Naughty Children) Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, unless your friend or loved one is in fact a bad parker themselves. In that case, you must immediately disown that person. It's the only way. For everyone else, though, these consistently make for great novelty gifts, so long as the recipient has a...colorful...sense of humor. 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It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePick your favorite or roll the dice to award the @$$hole in question the card of choice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI would say, “At least you tried,” but you clearly didn’t.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI can tell by the way you park your car that no one likes you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe lines aren’t just a suggestion, idiot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI know parking is scary, but next time try it with your eyes open.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhat has two thumbs and can’t park to save their life? 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Never again with our Vaginal Use Only stickers - or Rectal Use Only stickers, if that's what tickles your fancy! Don't Leave the House Without Them! We guarantee you'll find ample opportunities to label things as you wander through the world. Your friend's laptop, your mean cousin's jacket, your parole officer's business card...the opportunities are endless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePRANK YOUR FRIENDS. Who wouldn't appreciate you labelling their textbook for easy identification? What coworker wouldn't love to find instructions attached to their sandwich in the community fridge?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGUARANTEED TO GET LAUGHS. Despite being a purely practical product, for some reason people seem to think it's funny to stick them on my back, which is weird because I can be used in a variety of ways.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLABEL YOUR BELONGINGS CORRECTLY. Who hasn't accidentally forgotten where their toothbrush goes? 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It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are. Keep these cards in your car so when you locate an a**hole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to come crumbling down (or something like that). Either way, you’ll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, unless your friend or loved one is in fact a bad parker themselves. In that case, you must immediately disown that person. It’s the only way. For everyone else, though, these consistently make for great novelty gifts, so long as the recipient has a...colorful...sense of humor. Despite how often I tell my wife this, these actually are 9” long and 4” wide (23cm x 10cm)!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGET BACK AT MORONS PARKING LIKE JERKS. You know how much it sucks to get a parking ticket. Fill your target with that rage by giving them a realistic 9” x 4” fake ticket. It'll be glorious!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBE AN AGENT OF JUSTICE. For too long, bad parkers have been able to park with impunity. But no longer! Fight back by letting them know just how stupid they really are.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eREALISTIC DESIGN ON FULL SIZE PAPER. 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Our tactical reinforcement pack has you covered with 10 Butt Wipes, Disposable Underwear, Tissue Pack, Wood Scraper, Biohazard Bag, and Metal Pin to commemorate your trauma.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGUARANTEED FOR LIFE, though we can’t warrant your dignity. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee so if at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right (your pants are a lost cause, though).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTHE PERFECT GIFT FOR INTESTINAL INSURRECTION. Give the gift of preparedness to anyone who's ever gambled on a fart and lost. When their belly betrays them in enemy territory, they'll remember who had their back (and rear) when it mattered most.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSILENT BUT DEADLY WENT LOUD AND PROUD. Sometimes the element of surprise works against you - like when that \"silent\" becomes a trumpet solo. This survival kit delivers immediate crisis management when your belly's classified intel goes public.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your butt writes checks your pants can’t cash, Witty Yeti’s Military-Grade Shart Kit has you covered\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour sphincter signed a peace treaty, but your breakfast burrito never got the memo. Defend your dignity with our elite clean-up reinforcements.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSITUATION REPORT: The Rumbling Isn’t Stopping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour colon has committed mutiny. Your sphincter has gone rogue. Intelligence suggests your breakfast burrito was actually a sleeper agent. This is not a drill.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your digestive system goes AWOL, panic is not a strategy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis calls for emergency protocols and professional-grade damage control.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe enemy was inside all along.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat \"all-clear\" signal from your stomach was hostile propaganda.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTrusted by the Fierce, the Foolish, the Flatulent\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou need backup from soldiers who've earned their Brown Badge of Courage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour Butt’s Best Friend in Times of Crisis!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTime to deploy the Special Feces Forces, equipped with advanced derriere defense systems.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOperation: Brown Thunder Launches Early\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou knew it was coming, but not now, not like this.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou were warned multiple times about gas station sushi.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat's when you call in the Poop Troop, the only unit that fights dirty and wins clean.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor Those About to Shart, We Salute You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe brave aren't those who feel no fear. The brave are those who feel a sudden rumble, whisper a quiet prayer, and still trust a sneeze. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eZero-risk gifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhite elephant champion. Birthday crowd-pleaser. And if it somehow doesn’t deliver? Lifetime 100% money-back guarantee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs this actually a real product?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhile the humor is premium grade, so are the supplies. You get 1x pair of disposable underwear, 10x heavy-doody wet wipes, 10x cleanup tissues, 1x commemorative pin, 1x biohazard bag, 1x collectible tin, and 1x emergency wooden scraper.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53044307263798,"sku":"JLS-92336-SPY","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/c56018f7-7aaf-584d-a868-9b17662efa89.jpg?v=1764697805"},{"product_id":"original-shart-kit-bundle","title":"Original Shart Kit Bundle","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe original Shart Survival Kit with a double refill of Shart Survival Wipes, all yours in one sweep.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53284201955638,"sku":null,"price":42.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"for-dad-father-in-law-the-ultimate-shart-survival-duo","title":"For Dad \u0026 Father-in-Law: The Ultimate Shart Survival Duo","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe stocking stuffer that will blow every other gift out of the water. Socks can’t compete with this. Cologne has never saved a man in crisis. This bundle actually does something.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis bundle packs both of our best sellers: the Original Shart Survival Kit and the NEW Tactical Edition.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGive Dad the classic. Give your Father-in-Law the military-grade version. They both need it. They both deserve it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike the usual boring gifts they get every year, this bundle solves a real problem. When their digestive system goes rogue, they won't forget you. Christmas dinner conversations will include \"Remember that Shart Kit?\" for YEARS.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is funny, it is weirdly useful, and it is guaranteed to be the thing he talks about for the rest of the day. He will laugh when he opens it, then quietly stash one in his truck for emergencies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eWhat’s Inside (Two Full Kits = Double the Disaster Control)\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOriginal Shart Survival Kit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA classic for a reason.\u003cbr\u003eIncludes tissues, wipes, disposable underwear, emergency instructions, survivor badge, and a keepsake tin for storing… memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTactical Shart Survival Kit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor when Dad’s gut goes full DEFCON 1.\u003cbr\u003eIncludes wipes, tissues, disposable underwear, wood scraper, biohazard bag, metal pin, and military-grade emotional support.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect gift for dads, father in laws, uncles, brothers and any man who has ever taken a risky bathroom gamble and immediately regretted it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53389833273654,"sku":null,"price":59.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/Untitled_design_41.png?v=1764696376"}],"url":"https:\/\/witty-yeti.myshopify.com\/collections\/shop-all.oembed?page=2","provider":"Witty Yeti","version":"1.0","type":"link"}