{"title":"Bestsellers","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"witty-yeti-dehydrated-water","title":"The Original Dehydrated Water Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHydration, simplified.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a 16oz can of \u003cstrong\u003e100% Dehydrated Water\u003c\/strong\u003e — scientifically engineered to contain \u003cstrong\u003eabsolutely nothing\u003c\/strong\u003e. Just add water to rehydrate your supply. \u003cstrong\u003eIt's that easy\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCrafted from \u003cstrong\u003ereal steel\u003c\/strong\u003e, this container is designed for long-term storage of the world's most flexible resource: the \u003cstrong\u003eabsense of moisture\u003c\/strong\u003e. Whether you're prepping for the end of times or just want to shine light on someone's hydration status, this gift delivers. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy Dehydrated Water?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Lightweight\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Calorie-free\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Emotionally refreshing\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Impossible to spill\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eIt's perfect for \u003cstrong\u003ecampers, survivalists, scientists who've given up,\u003c\/strong\u003e and anyone who deserves a \u003cstrong\u003elaugh disguised as a solution\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eSpecs:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Dimensions: 4.49\" x 4.02\" x 3.9\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Contents: \u003cstrong\u003eexistential vacuum\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• Results may vary depending on \u003cstrong\u003eactual hydration status\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eAdd to cart now. Or don't. We're \u003cstrong\u003e60% sure that's what the can would want\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":16199152304230,"sku":"1013770491","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/47afd665-33d6-580e-a817-a5cda30c4889.jpg?v=1669900450"},{"product_id":"bad-parking-cards-hit-and-run-edition","title":"Hit and Run Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePick your favorite or roll the dice to award the @$$hole in question the card of choice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI would say, “At least you tried,” but you clearly didn’t.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI can tell by the way you park your car that no one likes you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe lines aren’t just a suggestion, idiot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI know parking is scary, but next time try it with your eyes open.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhat has two thumbs and can’t park to save their life? You.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe recommend keeping these cards in your car, so when you locate these people in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to be rocked. And this is better than using real rocks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEither way, you’ll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Win\/win.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31318713008230,"sku":"1006961272","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/c14a1889-1e2f-59aa-84c7-597aafeb61a0.jpg?v=1669900756"},{"product_id":"child-chucker-prank-box","title":"Child Chucker Gag Gift Prank Box","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTrebuchet not included.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut based on the box, \u003cstrong\u003eyour moral compass probably isn't either\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a \u003cstrong\u003eprank box\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eAn \u003cem\u003eempty\u003c\/em\u003e one\u003c\/strong\u003e. But at first glance, it looks like you've gifted someone a medieval baby-flinging device—and that's what makes it beautiful. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause nothing says \"\u003cstrong\u003eI love you\u003c\/strong\u003e\" like watching someone try to politely unwrap a \u003cstrong\u003efuture crime\u003c\/strong\u003e in front of relatives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlide your real gift inside, seal it up, and \u003cstrong\u003eenjoy a front-row seat\u003c\/strong\u003e as concern slowly builds. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor people who deserve better than sincerity\u003c\/strong\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eBaby showers\u003c\/strong\u003e that need a plot twist*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eParents\u003c\/strong\u003e with a sense of humor (or without sleep)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eCoworkers\u003c\/strong\u003e who shouldn't reproduce (but might)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \u003cstrong\u003eWhite elephant\u003c\/strong\u003e exchanges where you're playing to win\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe box \u003cstrong\u003eships flat\u003c\/strong\u003e, stands upright, and \u003cstrong\u003econtains no children\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eOr launch mechanism\u003c\/strong\u003e. Just pure chaos—measuring 11\" x 9\" x 3.25\" of questionable judgment. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThe box is empty. \u003cstrong\u003eYour intentions don't have to be\u003c\/strong\u003e.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e*\u003cem\u003eContinued presence at the baby shower not guaranteed\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39520255213670,"sku":"JLS-91917-SPF","price":13.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/4d48b895-75b3-52e8-9393-120a7deab7d8.jpg?v=1640268611"},{"product_id":"talking-buttons-4-pack","title":"4-Pack Trash Talking Buttons Set","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFour buttons. Twenty-four brutally honest phrases. One unforgettable gift. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFinally, a way to express yourself at work \u003cem\u003ewithout\u003c\/em\u003e getting fired on the spot. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis trash-talking button set comes preloaded with the kinds of responses we all \u003cem\u003ewish\u003c\/em\u003e we could say out loud like \"\u003cstrong\u003eNope\u003c\/strong\u003e,\" \u003cstrong\u003eBull$h!t\u003c\/strong\u003e,\" and the ever-useful \"\u003cstrong\u003eF*ck it\u003c\/strong\u003e.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach button includes \u003cstrong\u003esix different phrases\u003c\/strong\u003e, so you'll never run out of ways to \u003cstrong\u003eshut things down with flair\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed to crush a bad idea in a meeting?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReject a group text with one dramatic tap? \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCommunicate with your boss using only sarcasm and sound effects?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe've got you.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEach pack includes:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eNailed It\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — for your rare moments of success\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eNope\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — when words are unnecessary\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eBull$h!t\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — when diplomacy just won't cut it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e• \"\u003cstrong\u003eF*ck It\u003c\/strong\u003e\" — the elegant solution to everything else\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLoud. Durable. Gift-ready\u003c\/strong\u003e. Built for years of bad decisions. Batteries included. Regret optional. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eWork desks, team meetings, passive-aggressive birthdays, and anyone who just can't anymore. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarning\u003c\/strong\u003e: contains profanity. Use responsibly... or don't.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eHR didn't approve this. And that's why you need it. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39913748398182,"sku":"JLS-92091-SPF","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/93073e3e-3977-510b-9251-c28fb9f02a05.jpg?v=1666163968"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-gift-of-nothing","title":"'Gift of Nothing' Empty Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou asked for nothing. So we made it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed something for the friend who has everything? The co-worker with no personality? The sibling who keeps asking for \"\u003cem\u003enothing\u003c\/em\u003e\" every year?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're covered. \u003cstrong\u003eThis is the most satisfying non-gift you'll ever give.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's wrapped in real, display-worthy packaging, designed to look like an actual present—until they open it and discover a whole lot of nothing inside. The result? Confusion, laughter, maybe a little betrayal... and a story they'll tell forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy it works:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• Looks real. Feels empty. Delivers laughs.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• Filled with clever jokes and petty delight.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• Great for Secret Santa, birthdays, breakups, or your emotionally unavailable ex.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e• It's comedy, psychology, and chaos in one airtight dome.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could've bought them something useful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, you bought them \u003cstrong\u003esomething unforgettable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39917481394278,"sku":"JLS-92013-SPF","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/9f6ecaad-f5e0-501a-af98-930ad9317e9e.jpg?v=1666370069"},{"product_id":"human-cone-prank-box","title":"Human Cone Prank Gift Box","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the Witty Yeti 13\" x 10\" x 3.5\" Durable Cardboard Prank Gift Box! Made from high-quality corrugated cardboard, this oversized box guarantees laughter and amusement with its witty jokes and funny illustrations. Get ready to bring the laughter to any occasion and watch as the unforgettable moments unfold when they unwrap their gift and discover this unique and embarrassing box.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46052797612342,"sku":"JLS-92213-SPF","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/302c3f82-4d10-5359-b044-7fbfc4d1cf50.jpg?v=1690851697"},{"product_id":"computer-antifreeze-gag-gift","title":"Computer Antifreeze Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eElevate your prank game with Computer Antifreeze: The Official Coolant of Incognito Mode! Packed with goofy jokes, it's the ultimate gag gift for techies, geeks, or anyone in need of a good laugh. Our lifetime satisfaction guarantee ensures your prankster reputation stays intact. With an abundance of hilarious humor, this compact gift is perfect for your desk or to share at the office. Be the life of the party and keep the laughs rolling with this sturdy, hilarious masterpiece. Get ready to be the funniest person in the room, and let the smiles spread!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47332462657846,"sku":"JLS-92290-SPF","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/35c37c8e-aa4e-5688-b2ce-455826143d50.jpg?v=1698157281"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-eye-bleach","title":"Eye Bleach Meme Prank Gag Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eFrom the makers of 'Computer Antifreeze' comes an all-new prank with Witty Yeti Eye Bleach! This realistic Xmas stocking size gag gift includes a reusable bottle and sturdy fake packaging, perfect for surprising your favorite internet addict with a fun and family-friendly joke gift. Whether for Christmas stocking stuffers, office exchanges, secret santas, white elephant or yankee swaps, this fun and silly present is sure to please anyone who loves their tech and memes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eNote: This is an EMPTY bottle! Not a real cleaning product!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\t\u003cli\u003eWarning: Do not fill with bleach or any other liquid! This is a GAG GIFT ONLY!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50644052738358,"sku":"JLS-92313-SPF","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/e140d578-0a33-52d9-b22d-8574d0aa9ad8.png?v=1727456196"},{"product_id":"tactical-shart-survival-kit","title":"NEW Shart Survival Kit: Tactical Edition","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWHEN YOUR GUT GOES ROGUE, you need someone with you in the trenches, and Witty Yeti has your back, soldier. We’re ready to fight dirty, even if your underwear isn’t.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCLEAN UP YOUR BOWELS' DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE. Our tactical reinforcement pack has you covered with 10 Butt Wipes, Disposable Underwear, Tissue Pack, Wood Scraper, Biohazard Bag, and Metal Pin to commemorate your trauma.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGUARANTEED FOR LIFE, though we can’t warrant your dignity. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee so if at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right (your pants are a lost cause, though).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTHE PERFECT GIFT FOR INTESTINAL INSURRECTION. Give the gift of preparedness to anyone who's ever gambled on a fart and lost. When their belly betrays them in enemy territory, they'll remember who had their back (and rear) when it mattered most.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSILENT BUT DEADLY WENT LOUD AND PROUD. Sometimes the element of surprise works against you - like when that \"silent\" becomes a trumpet solo. This survival kit delivers immediate crisis management when your belly's classified intel goes public.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your butt writes checks your pants can’t cash, Witty Yeti’s Military-Grade Shart Kit has you covered\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour sphincter signed a peace treaty, but your breakfast burrito never got the memo. Defend your dignity with our elite clean-up reinforcements.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSITUATION REPORT: The Rumbling Isn’t Stopping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour colon has committed mutiny. Your sphincter has gone rogue. Intelligence suggests your breakfast burrito was actually a sleeper agent. This is not a drill.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your digestive system goes AWOL, panic is not a strategy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis calls for emergency protocols and professional-grade damage control.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe enemy was inside all along.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat \"all-clear\" signal from your stomach was hostile propaganda.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTrusted by the Fierce, the Foolish, the Flatulent\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou need backup from soldiers who've earned their Brown Badge of Courage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour Butt’s Best Friend in Times of Crisis!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTime to deploy the Special Feces Forces, equipped with advanced derriere defense systems.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOperation: Brown Thunder Launches Early\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou knew it was coming, but not now, not like this.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou were warned multiple times about gas station sushi.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThat's when you call in the Poop Troop, the only unit that fights dirty and wins clean.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor Those About to Shart, We Salute You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe brave aren't those who feel no fear. The brave are those who feel a sudden rumble, whisper a quiet prayer, and still trust a sneeze. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eZero-risk gifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhite elephant champion. Birthday crowd-pleaser. And if it somehow doesn’t deliver? Lifetime 100% money-back guarantee.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs this actually a real product?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhile the humor is premium grade, so are the supplies. You get 1x pair of disposable underwear, 10x heavy-doody wet wipes, 10x cleanup tissues, 1x commemorative pin, 1x biohazard bag, 1x collectible tin, and 1x emergency wooden scraper.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53044307263798,"sku":"JLS-92336-SPY","price":20.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/c56018f7-7aaf-584d-a868-9b17662efa89.jpg?v=1764697805"},{"product_id":"for-dad-father-in-law-the-ultimate-shart-survival-duo","title":"For Dad \u0026 Father-in-Law: The Ultimate Shart Survival Duo","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe stocking stuffer that will blow every other gift out of the water. Socks can’t compete with this. Cologne has never saved a man in crisis. This bundle actually does something.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis bundle packs both of our best sellers: the Original Shart Survival Kit and the NEW Tactical Edition.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGive Dad the classic. Give your Father-in-Law the military-grade version. They both need it. They both deserve it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnlike the usual boring gifts they get every year, this bundle solves a real problem. When their digestive system goes rogue, they won't forget you. Christmas dinner conversations will include \"Remember that Shart Kit?\" for YEARS.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is funny, it is weirdly useful, and it is guaranteed to be the thing he talks about for the rest of the day. He will laugh when he opens it, then quietly stash one in his truck for emergencies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch1\u003eWhat’s Inside (Two Full Kits = Double the Disaster Control)\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOriginal Shart Survival Kit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA classic for a reason.\u003cbr\u003eIncludes tissues, wipes, disposable underwear, emergency instructions, survivor badge, and a keepsake tin for storing… memories.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTactical Shart Survival Kit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor when Dad’s gut goes full DEFCON 1.\u003cbr\u003eIncludes wipes, tissues, disposable underwear, wood scraper, biohazard bag, metal pin, and military-grade emotional support.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect gift for dads, father in laws, uncles, brothers and any man who has ever taken a risky bathroom gamble and immediately regretted it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53389833273654,"sku":null,"price":59.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/files\/Untitled_design_41.png?v=1764696376"}],"url":"https:\/\/witty-yeti.myshopify.com\/collections\/bestsellers.oembed","provider":"Witty Yeti","version":"1.0","type":"link"}