{"title":"Bad Parking Revenge Products","description":"The time for street justice is now! These bad parking cards will help you win the war against arguably the simplest part of driving - parking the damn car.","products":[{"product_id":"witty-yeti-hilarious-bad-parking-cards-total-annihilation-edition-50-pk-5-x-10","title":"Total Annihilation Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eHow many times have you asked yourself \"Is it really that hard?\" as you try not to door ding the terribly parked car next to yours? Whether you deputize yourself or give the gag gift of parking revenge, these bad parking cards will help win the war against arguably the simplest part of driving - parking the damn car.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou will receive 50 Witty Yeti bad parking cards, which include five copies of these ten different hilarious and insulting phrases.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is the trail of tears of parking jobs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI've seen people with Parkinson's color inside the lines better than you parked this car.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf I ever parked this incompetently I would just kill myself. Though, if you tried, I'm sure you'd fail at that too.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHellen Keller could have parked this car better than you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI feel sorry for your wife because if you fuck like you park, you must never get it in\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf Hitler were still alive, he would commend this parking job.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDo you work at Planned Parenthood? Cause this is an abortion of a parking job.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYour parking job is like cancer. Only worse, because it won't kill you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGiven this parking job, you would undoubtedly win the special Olympics of parking.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your car was a plane and the parking spot the twin towers, 9\/11 wouldn't have happened.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGET QUIET, SWIFT REVENGE ON ASSHOLE DRIVERS. Don't have time to wait around for every bad parker to come back to their car? Leave a card so even if you're long gone, your angry sentiment lingers.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBE AS OFFENSIVE AS THEIR PARKING. Tired of assholes parking like idiots? Get revenge by unleashing your anger and leaving no room for doubt as to how you feel about their shitty driving skills.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGUARANTEED FOR LIFE. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee on all of our gag gifts. If at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGIVE LAUGHTER AND BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. Make everyone jealous of your gift giving and hilariously satisfy righteous road rage anger with this perfect stocking stuffer or white elephant gift.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTHICK DURABLE PAPER = LONG LASTING INSULTS. Our idiot parking cards have the look and feel of actual business cards, making your insults last longer in inclement weather and look super professional.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":15840004898918,"sku":"8J-Z4PK-ULQ8","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/0473755d-af3d-5551-b61a-8f92a5f71fa6.jpg?v=1642654764"},{"product_id":"witty-yeti-hilarious-bad-parking-cards-street-justice-edition-50-pk-5x-10-designs","title":"Street Justice Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow many times have you asked yourself, \"Is it really that hard?\" as you try not to door-ding the terribly parked car next to yours? Whether you deputize yourself or give the gag gift of parking revenge, these bad parking cards will help win the war against arguably the simplest part of driving - parking the damn car.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow many markers did you sniff as a kid to park this badly?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI didn't realize assholes as big as you could fit into cars this small. Learn to park, douche.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThanks for parking so close, shitstain. Next time, leave me a can opener so I can get my fucking car out!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou SUCK at parking.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eISIS called. They love your parking job, you fucking terrorist.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLike sex, parking is better with your eyes open. Well, sex with somebody other than you, at least\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is the shittiest parking job I've seen all year! Go back to Driver's Ed, you fucking amateur!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFantastic parking, Dickwad. You really put your heart and soul into sucking this bad.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis parking jobs is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent driving were you even close to anything that could be considered good parking. Everyone in this parking lot is now dumber for having witnessed this. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\"This is a great parking job\" - Satan\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you aren’t completely satisfied with your order, simply reach out to us through the Amazon messaging service and we will respond within 24 hours to make it right even on the weekends. We absolutely guarantee your satisfaction or your money back!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGET QUIET, SWIFT REVENGE ON ASSHOLE DRIVERS. Don't have time to wait around for every bad parker to come back to their car? Leave a card so even if you're long gone, your angry sentiment lingers.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSERVE STREET JUSTICE AS A PARKING VIGILANTE. Be the superhero society needs with our meaner than average bad parking tickets and let the shitty drivers of the world know exactly how terrible they are\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGUARANTEED FOR LIFE. We offer a No-Nonsense Lifetime Satisfaction Guarantee on all of our gag gifts. If at any point you're not 100% happy, just send us an email, and we promise to make it right!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGIVE LAUGHTER AND BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. Make everyone jealous of your gift giving and hilariously satisfy righteous road rage anger with this perfect stocking stuffer or white elephant gift.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTHICK DURABLE PAPER = LONG LASTING INSULTS. Our idiot parking cards have the look and feel of actual business cards, making your insults last longer in inclement weather and look super professional.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":15840016629862,"sku":"R0-DQ6B-CRSP","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/5fed6c93-ee11-51fe-9924-51bdaf658fc8_697f4e24-bf08-4ed2-9ee1-8c685e6f1ab4.jpg?v=1642653751"},{"product_id":"bad-parking-cards-road-rage-edition","title":"Road Rage Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStart Winning the War Against Bad Drivers How hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It's about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are. Swift, Quiet Revenge Keep these cards in your car so when you locate an a**hole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to come crumbling down (or something like that). Either way, you'll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Excellent Novelty Gift or Stocking Stuffer (for Naughty Children) Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, unless your friend or loved one is in fact a bad parker themselves. In that case, you must immediately disown that person. It's the only way. For everyone else, though, these consistently make for great novelty gifts, so long as the recipient has a...colorful...sense of humor. The Cards You might want to check your steering wheel for shit because it looks like it was parked by an asshole. Wow! Another Euro-import driver parked his car like an asshole. Shocking! Ford 3:50 - And the Lord sayeth, you park like a fucking moron. My grandmother parks better than you. And she's blind, armless, and dead. Learn to park. Asshole. What's in the Package?\u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSICK OF A**HOLES PARKING LIKE JERKS? Finally you can unleash your righteous anger with Witty Yeti's funny parking notes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLIKE A FAKE PARKING TICKET BUT MEANER. Simply slip it under the windshield wiper, through the driver's door window, or into the gas tank with some sugar...Editor's Note: Definitely don't do this.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDEPUTIZE YOURSELF in the fight against bad parking. We can't win without your help, soldier. There are people parking over the lines as we speak!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSERVE THE PARKING GODS by distributing instant justice to the disrespectful idiots incapable of following the basic rules of parking lot decency.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePRINTED ON THICK, CLASSY UV COATED PAPER for maximum revenge. Each pack comes with 50 cards, 10 copies of each joke.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31318659563622,"sku":"1006962190","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/f3242392-65a3-5972-80a3-b5c3a8c16fb3.jpg?v=1642652838"},{"product_id":"bad-parking-cards-hit-and-run-edition","title":"Hit and Run Edition Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive different designs in a pack of 50 mean you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePick your favorite or roll the dice to award the @$$hole in question the card of choice:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI would say, “At least you tried,” but you clearly didn’t.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI can tell by the way you park your car that no one likes you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe lines aren’t just a suggestion, idiot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI know parking is scary, but next time try it with your eyes open.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhat has two thumbs and can’t park to save their life? You.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe recommend keeping these cards in your car, so when you locate these people in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to be rocked. And this is better than using real rocks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEither way, you’ll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Win\/win.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31318713008230,"sku":"1006961272","price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/c14a1889-1e2f-59aa-84c7-597aafeb61a0.jpg?v=1669900756"},{"product_id":"full-size-fake-parking-ticket-by-witty-yeti-20-pack-both-realistic","title":"Full-Size Fake Parking Tickets","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis pack comes with 20 fake tickets so you'll be able to prank all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are. Keep these cards in your car so when you locate an a**hole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to come crumbling down (or something like that). Either way, you’ll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, unless your friend or loved one is in fact a bad parker themselves. In that case, you must immediately disown that person. It’s the only way. For everyone else, though, these consistently make for great novelty gifts, so long as the recipient has a...colorful...sense of humor. Despite how often I tell my wife this, these actually are 9” long and 4” wide (23cm x 10cm)!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGET BACK AT MORONS PARKING LIKE JERKS. You know how much it sucks to get a parking ticket. Fill your target with that rage by giving them a realistic 9” x 4” fake ticket. It'll be glorious!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBE AN AGENT OF JUSTICE. For too long, bad parkers have been able to park with impunity. But no longer! Fight back by letting them know just how stupid they really are.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eREALISTIC DESIGN ON FULL SIZE PAPER. They will definitely think they’ve gotten a parking ticket, plus you get to customize it to maximize the insult!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEXCELLENT NOVELTY GIFT for adult stocking stuffers, office Secret Santa parties, or for anybody whose rage burns with the fire of a thousand suns at the sight of a double-parked car.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32279561306214,"sku":"z-FakeParkingTickets","price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/a1c7f25b-3764-524d-86a7-dc5bcf6c7395.jpg?v=1642597056"},{"product_id":"you-parked-like-a-moron-25-note-pack-by-witty-yeti-its-time-to-punish","title":"\"You Parked Like A Moron\" Bad Parking Revenge Cards","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis pack comes with 25 cards so you'll be able to shame all of the idiot parkers of the world.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHow hard is it really to just park in the lines? Does that BMW really need to take up two spaces? I mean seriously. How inconsiderate are these people? It’s about time that we good drivers had something to communicate to these jerks just how awful they are. Keep these cards in your car so when you locate an a**hole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can simply and surreptitiously slide one under the windshield wiper. Your target will see a friendly and inviting business card, but little do they know, their world is about to come crumbling down (or something like that). Either way, you’ll make their day a little worse, which will please the Parking Gods. Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, unless your friend or loved one is in fact a bad parker themselves. In that case, you must immediately disown that person. It’s the only way. For everyone else, though, these consistently make for great novelty gifts, so long as the recipient has a...colorful...sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBE AN AGENT OF JUSTICE. For too long, bad parkers have been able to park with impunity. But no longer! Fight back by letting them know just how stupid they really are.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLIKE A FAKE PARKING TICKET BUT MEANER. Simply slip it under the windshield wiper, through the driver’s door window, or into the gas tank with some sugar...Editor’s Note: Definitely don’t do this.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSICK OF RUDE IDIOTS PARKING LIKE JERKS? Finally you can unleash your righteous anger with Witty Yeti’s funny parking notes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEXCELLENT NOVELTY GIFT for naughty adult stocking stuffers, office Secret Santa or White Elephant parties, or for anybody whose rage burns with the fire of a thousand suns at the sight of a car parked over the lines.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK. If you’re not completely happy with your order of 25x bad parking note cards, just send us an email and we promise to make it right.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32279576936550,"sku":"1016741937","price":3.79,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/4643349e-eb19-5c02-b02c-999ed570c4a0.jpg?v=1639162118"},{"product_id":"witty-yetis-i-park-like-an-ass-bumper-sticker-10-pack-prank-shame","title":"\"I Park Like An Asshole\" Bumper Stickers","description":"\u003cp\u003eKeep these stickers in your car so when you locate an asshole in the wild (and by wild, I mean parked in a disabled space with no placard) you can quickly and surreptitiously slap one on his bumper or windshield. Your target will drive around for days potentially, advertising herself as the selfish idiot she is. Guaranteed to piss them off when they finally realize it and now have to peel it off their car! - That idiot parked in your reserved spot? Screw that guy. - That selfish jerk who double parked you at the mall? He’s dead to me. - That inconsiderate asshole parked so close that you couldn’t even get in your car? Revenge could have been yours. Looking for the perfect gag gift for your Secret Santa? Look no further. Bad parkers inspire universal hatred, so unless your friend or loved one is in fact an asshole, they’re guaranteed to enjoy this prank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSICK OF IDIOTS PARKING LIKE JERKS? Finally, you can unleash your righteous anger on that Hummer in a compact space with Witty Yeti’s I Park Like an Asshole prank bumper sticker.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHILARIOUS PRANK AND GAG GIFT. The only people who don’t love this sticker are assholes, terrorists \u0026amp; my Ex, who is basically both of those anyways\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePUNISH SELF-CENTERED MORONS who couldn’t park inside the lines to save their lives. These selfish egomaniacs deserve a little punishment.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAMUSE AND TERRORIZE YOUR FRIENDS. Guaranteed to make your friends laugh out loud and then cry out loud when they realize they now have to peel it off their car.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUNLEASH YOUR PARKING LOT FRUSTRATION. Release your pent-up anger on the next jerk whose BMW took up 3 spaces or on the dumbass who blocked the disabled spot with his lifted pick-up truck.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Witty Yeti","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32280065048678,"sku":"1007506228","price":12.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1675\/9521\/products\/075f5674-b65a-59f1-b649-b0521b730160.jpg?v=1642597472"}],"url":"https:\/\/witty-yeti.myshopify.com\/collections\/bad-parking-products.oembed","provider":"Witty Yeti","version":"1.0","type":"link"}